


ten reasons to hate chittaphon

by ritokki



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage, a heartwarming tale of love friendship and doyoung, best friends!dojae, best friends!johnten, i called this a driver au but uhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 05:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritokki/pseuds/ritokki
Summary: Once again, Johnny’s mouth beat his brain to the chase, and before he could control himself, he had already asked: “What’s your name?”The man raised his eyebrows, shocked at Johnny’s (unintentional) forwardness. “My name is Jeff.”“Haha, very funny.” He had heard enough of such outdated memes from Ten - his roommate really didn't know when to stop.“No seriously. I’m Jeffrey.”Johnny paused. “Shit.” He was going to murder Ten.





	ten reasons to hate chittaphon

**Author's Note:**

> this started out as an excuse to avoid writing my hyuckhei fic and now its an excuse to avoid revising for exams!! (stay in school kids)
> 
> anyway i love johnjae and doten and johnten are the best best friends thank
> 
> enjoy!!

Causing a road accident had never been on Johnny’s bucket list, but it was on Ten’s and Ten was a little shit. So naturally, he just had to scream directly into Johnny’s ear, causing him to swerve right into another three cars. Thankfully, no one was injured (minus Johnny’s pride). But that now meant that Johnny was now the proud holder of twelve penalty points and had to reapply for his licence. Meaning Johnny had to  _ pay  _ to take the ruddy test. And for Broke College Student No. 2, that was exactly what he wanted to not happen. Which makes for the first reason to hate Chittaphon - he was a  _ fucking fuckface _ that lived only to make Johnny's life a living hell.

Ten, surprisingly, had the decency to at least pay the fine and, while Johnny had no plans to forgive him any time soon (the “maybe if you stanned LOONA” didn't give him any points, either. He  _ knew  _ Johnny would die just to have Butterfly play at his funeral, but  _ no _ , shitty memes were all that ever came out of his mouth, apparently), he did appreciate the gesture. He appreciated the “I’m sorry for being a dick” cake even more. But that didn't take away from the fact that Johnny - occupation: delivery boy - had officially been suspended from his job and therefore had no income. Nothing. So, he did the only thing he could and called his parents.

Long story short, Mrs Suh thought it was  _ fucking hilarious _ and, while he wasn't quite as enthusiastic in his amusement, Mr Suh agreed to send him enough money for three attempts at an extended drivers test. He booked a slot as soon as he could, almost buzzing with anticipation. 

Which was exactly how he found himself on a mission to find a silver Honda in a nearly empty and vaguely shady car park, where his instructor should be waiting. His excessive height played a great advantage in such a situation, and he located the vehicle in no time.

Johnny had just opened the door and began to slide inside, ducking under the door frame, when he noticed to car’s other occupant. His examiner. Normally, he would take a step back and greet him, trying to create a good first impression, but something about this man made him freeze up. He was attractive, very attractive. Fluffy, dark hair that Johnny would definitely run his fingers through if given the opportunity, soft features with a well-proportioned, fairly round face, and cheeks with-  _ holy fuck _ , were those dimples? Johnny 10/10 wanted to squish. He cursed silently; this man was  _ exactly _ his type. 

Once again, Johnny’s mouth beat his brain to the chase, and before he could control himself, he had already asked: “What’s your name?” 

The man raised his eyebrows, shocked at Johnny’s (unintentional) forwardness. “My name is Jeff.” 

“Haha, very funny.” He had heard enough of such outdated memes from Ten - his roommate really didn't know when to stop.

“No seriously. I’m Jeffrey.” 

Johnny paused. “Shit.” He was going to murder Ten. “I'm so sorry.” 

(The second reason - his dumbness rubbed off on Johnny, badly. Maybe he should get that checked.)

“It’s fine.” A wave of dismissal had Johnny releasing a breath he didn't realise he was holding. “You can call me Jaehyun if you want. You're Korean right?” 

“How do you-” Jaehyun waved a wad of paper Johnny didn't notice he was holding. He really wasn't being the most observant today. Suddenly, he remembered- “dear lord, you're my instructor.” 

Jaehyun nodded, smiling obscurely. A moment of silence passed and Johnny could’ve  _ sworn  _ Jaehyun was checking him out, but he wasn't too sure about how much faith he should put into his eyes. Which was worrying, considering the whole “getting back his licence” thing was very reliant on being able to  _ see _ . 

After a good thirty seconds of no movement, Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Would you like to get in?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Johnny, ever-so-intelligently replied. His cheeks flushed as he slid into the driver's seat and pulled on his seat belt, only for it to get stuck halfway across his body. His frustrated noises drew Jaehyun’s attention away from his papers and he immediately rushed to help.

“Sorry, it’s always been stiff.” He leant over Johnny to grab the belt. Johnny appreciated the gesture, he  _ did _ , but Jaehyun’s face was  _ very close  _ and-  _ whoa, he had pretty lips _ . They looked soft, tinted with a subtle layer of makeup that wouldn't be noticeable at any other distance. Johnny could see the faded marks on his cheeks and forehead, most likely a result of childhood acne, as well as a few slight bumps that made it just that bit easier to believe he was actually human, not some angel, sent by the god Johnny stopped praying to when he was eight, to make sure Johnny would fail. Surely a god couldn't be that vengeful, using Johnny’s weakness for cute boys against him. 

Or maybe they could, because even after he returned to his seat, Johnny couldn't take his eyes off him. Which, considering Johnny only had two eyes, both of which should have been on the road, meant that his seventy minutes on the road went spectacularly badly. The questions and eye test went marginally better, mostly since the car wasn't in motion (read: because he could stare at Jaehyun without being any danger to the general public).

And then it was over. Far too quick for Johnny's liking, but before he could begin to sulk, Jaehyun's cleared his throat. 

“So, uh. You failed.”

Failure had never tasted so sweet.

“Your driving is reckless and, well,  _ distracted _ , so I'm afraid you'll have to try again. Better luck next time, Johnny.”

He almost cheered. Climbing out the car, he didn't miss Jaehyun's poorly concealed grin - and he  _ definitely _ didn't miss the eyes that met his in the wing mirror. Without thinking, he winked.  _ Best decision of my whole fucking life _ \- Johnny would choose Jaehyun’s blush over a LOONA album, hands down. He was just  _ that cute _ .

 

 

 

The first thing Johnny noticed when he opened the car door was Jaehyun, eyeing his shirt as if it had just insulted his entire family, cat included. 

“Hi.” He tried, but Jaehyun’s attention was entirely narrowed onto the garment. Johnny didn't blame him. It was hideous - a mess of what was once white, splodged with pink, purple, and blue inks that Ten had made sure to “accidentally” spill over his entire washing basket full of clothes. As if he needed to advertise his sexuality even more than the “bisexual bitch” hat that Mark had bought for him. (He only wore it for special occasions, just to see the smile that lit up Mark’s face.)

But this? A monstrosity. Ten was a dick.

It took a solid thirty seconds, plus Johnny furiously waving his hand in front of his eyes, for Jaehyun to snap out of his reverie. 

“Huh? Oh- shit, sorry. Hi.” Jaehyun paused. “Nice shirt.”

Johnny ducked into the vehicle, sighing as he fastened his seatbelt. “Literally, don't even. One day, I'm going to gauge my roommate’s eyeballs out with a melon scoop, I swear on it.”

Jaehyun didn't even blink at Johnny’s grotesque language - it reminded Johnny of just how little he knew about the man. Maybe he was a serial killer. (Johnny  _ really  _ hoped he wasn't a serial killer) - instead, he leant back in his seat and motioned for Johnny to start the car.

“So, what happened?” They were half an hour into the drive when Jaehyun finally spoke up. Johnny wasn't even sure that was allowed. But if you thought he was going to give up the chance to talk to the cute boy that had been haunting Johnny’s daydreams for the week that had passed since his last attempt, then you must be mad. To give this up would be like giving up pure gold - a dumb fucking decision. 

It started off fine; calmly explaining how Ten being a design student had lead to their house being home to a permanent supply of fabric dyes, hidden away in the many biscuit tins that Johnny still found himself opening, only to be gravely disappointed with the harsh and unchanging reality held within. But, as Johnny got more into the background of the incident, including previous episodes, his storytelling got wilder, less cohesive, louder, until he wasn't talking to Jaehyun anymore. He was yelling into the void; venting into the vacuum of space. 

Jaehyun, the poor guy, just sat there. Johnny’s rant flew into one ear and immediately out the other.

Hence, the third reason: Ten never hesitated to antagonise him. 

“Sorry. My roommate gives me a lot of pent-up anger.”

“Uh-huh.” Jaehyun, again, seemed unphased. Johnny wondered what the hell kind of friends this guy had that he was so used to this. “Would you like to get us off the roundabout now?” 

Johnny hadn't even realised how off-course he had veered. Once trundling calmly along the main road, he had ended up stranded in a neighbourhood he didn't recognise, car strewn over the small roundabout between avenues. 

The volume of cars slowly increased as they got back on track, passing by the retail park that Johnny knew meant they were almost done. He pouted minutely, and from the corner of his eye, saw Jaehyun take in a deep breath.

“Johnny,” he began carefully, testing the waters. “If your roommate stresses you out so much, shouldn't you find somewhere else?”

Johnny decided Jaehyun was not supposed to be talking to him in this situation - he almost swerved off the road in his shock, and his tone conveyed just that. “What? No, no. never.”

“You almost caused another road accident because of him, but you won't-”

“Look, he’s a jackass.” He changed gear, the stick creaking slightly with age. “He's a fucking wanker, but he's  _ my _ fucking wanker- shit, that didn't come out right-”

“No, I think I get it.” Despite Johnny’s absolute mortification, Jaehyun’s response was quick and level. “If you don't deal with him, no one else will?”

Impressive. Most people took far longer to figure out Johnny and Ten’s relationship - even Johnny himself had been unsure for the longest time until they sat down and talked. “Basically, yeah. Other than his boyfriend, but he’s a wanker too.”

“The double-threat couple. I know one of those.”

“Don't we all.” Johnny laughed, and Jaehyun joined him. They didn't stop until they were back where they started, climbing out of the silver rust bucket Jaehyun drove every day. It was only then that he remembered. “By the way-”

“You fail.”

Johnny expected as much. 

Well, as they say, third time’s a charm.

 

 

 

“Jesus Christ- why do you smell like my grandmother with bacne?”

Johnny had to physically refrain from grimacing as he slid into the driver’s seat. The fourth reason to hate Ten was an obvious one: he was an absolute dickhead. 

"My roommate replaced all my cologne with TCP."

"The antiseptic?" 

Johnny closed the door and opened his mouth to respond, but Jaehyun suddenly clasped his hands over his nose.

“Oh, fucking hell, the smell!” Jaehyun scrambled to find the lever, turning it furiously until the window was all the way down. He stuck his head outside and- boy, did Johnny feel the exact same way.

“I showered  _ thrice _ to try and get rid of it but nothing worked! Even my loofah!”

“Even the loofah?”

“Even the loofah!”

Jaehyun leant back in his seat, holding the fabric of his shirt to his nose as he shook his head. “That fucking sucks, bro.”

Johnny froze. Were they already at “bro” level? Had Jaehyun, after three meetings, deemed Johnny safe enough to be a bro? His bro? 

All these questions remained with no answers as they began what would (hopefully) be Johnny’s last attempt at getting his license. That meant no messing around. Even if Jaehyun was barely watching the road and had his face half-buried in his shirt, Johnny would definitely succeed. Whatever came next was an issue for future Johnny.

 

Future Johnny wasn't impressed. When Jaehyun first said the words: “yeah, yep, you pass. Now can you  _ get out,  _ I think I'm gonna  _ die, _ ” Johnny had jumped out of the car, half concerned that Jaehyun looked ready to pass out, half relieved that  _ finally, Ten can stop calling me a can't-drive gay. _ (Which was entirely hypocritical of him - Johnny had been ferrying him around since he was eighteen. Ten didn't even  _ have _ a licence.) It was just seconds after that Johnny realised the tragic implications of his success. 

No more lessons meant no more Jaehyun. No more Jaehyun meant- well, Johnny didn't know what it meant and he did not want to find out. So, he did what any logical person would do.

“Go on a date with me.” He cursed his thoughtless tongue. “Please.” 

Was that too desperate? Probably. Did Johnny care? Kind of. 

Thankfully, Jaehyun didn't. He smiled as if Johnny was handing him an empire, and Johnny definitely felt his heart flutter when the words “fuck yeah” answered him. 

And when Jaehyun rounded the car, leant up to press a peck to his cheek, and  _ giggled?  _ Why, Johnny thought his heart might sprout wings and fly away right there and then. (Belatedly, Johnny wondered how Jaehyun survived in such close proximity to someone who still smelt of concentrated antiseptic when he was close to death just a few moments ago. Maybe it was the adrenaline, if he was feeling anywhere near as electric as Johnny.)

“Give me your phone a sec,” Jaehyun ordered, almost bouncing up and down as he held his hand out. Johnny unlocked the device and handed it over without a second thought. Jaehyun pushed it back into his still-open hand in no time - Johnny was still processing everything when Jaehyun ushered him to the exit, seeing him off with a hand on his bicep and “bye, Johnny” whispered into his ear. Johnny wasn't sure if that was supposed to be seductive - if it was, Jaehyun might need to review his flirting methods. Not that Johnny was one to talk; he barely remembered to check his phone when he arrived back at his apartment.

He thanked the gods Doyoung had chosen to drag Ten on a very unplanned date today, supposedly for their anniversary, but Ten and Doyoung had been together for three years and had never celebrated any sort of anniversary. (Minus the anniversary of when Ten got his head stuck in a flower pot, but that was basically Christmas for them.) (So much alcohol, so many gifts, and so many sticks of butter. It was a wonderful time and Johnny made a point to make as many plant-related puns as he could before Ten would inevitably threaten to smash his head in with a spade.) 

He would ask what it was about later, but for now, he had a mission. 

The glass covering the back of his phone connecting with the glass coffee table made a terrible smashing sound as he threw the device down with the least restraint he had ever felt, but Johnny couldn't bring himself to care. His phone had been through worse, anyway. (Another thing he’d never forgive Ten for - the blender incident. No explanation needed.) 

The screen lit up, displaying a single notification.

 

CONTACT: jeff(rey)

14:32

hey, it’s jaehyun!

14:33

how does tuesday sound?

 

Johnny’s heart skipped a beat. 

 

 

 

“No way. You're not stepping out the house in  _ those _ .” Ten was stretched out over the sofa, glaring at Johnny as he stepped into the living room. In any other circumstance, Johnny would've poked fun at him, joking how he was trying to make himself taller, but not today. Because today, Johnny had a  _ date _ . A real date - not one Ten had formulated using a fake Tinder account, for the sixth time. (Reason five: he catfished his friends for fun.)

Johnny was trembling, and Ten’s judgmental look did nothing to ease his nerves.

“As your best friend in the whole wide world-” Johnny rolled his eyes, but Ten continued- “I feel I have a duty to make sure you don't make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the guy you’ve been whining about for weeks.” He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and levelled Johnny with a glare that looked just a little too cat-like to be taken seriously. “So take the fucking jorts off, Johnny.”

His answer was simple. “Make me.”

That's the story of how, twenty minutes before he was supposed to meet his Hot Date, Johnny was tackled to the floor and wrangled out of his ‘date jorts’ by the very ferocious five-foot-seven man he called his best friend. A typical Tuesday in the Suh-Leechaiyapornkul household.

 

Jaehyun definitely appreciated Ten’s meddling, if his eyes bulging out of his head was anything to go by. A shame, Johnny thought. His date jorts were spectacular, not to mention far more comfortable than the ripped jeans Ten had forced him into.

“You look… great. Wow.” 

Johnny pulled out a chair, sparing a quick glance around the cafe they had picked out. “Does it look dumb? Ten forced me into it.”

“Ten?”

“My roommate.”

Jaehyun froze mid-drink. He lowered his iced americano at the same time Johnny raised the straw of his identical drink to his lips. They had specified orders in advance, just to avoid wasting time, and Johnny had never been so thankful. After wrestling with the incarnation of the devil for twenty minutes, he was  _ parched _ .

“Wait. Ten as in Chittaphon- uh- however-you-pronounce-his-family-name?”

“Leechaiyapornkul.” Johnny corrected without much thought, placing his drink on the small table that his legs barely fit under and raising a brow. “Why do you ask?”

Jaehyun ignored him. “He’s Doyoung’s boyfriend, right?”

“Huh? You know Doyoung? And Ten?” Johnny was confused. He hadn’t pegged Jaehyun for the vague type, but the calculating expression he held was enough to assure Johnny this wasn't a regular trait of his. 

Clapping his hands, Jaehyun scared Johnny almost out of his seat but uttered no apology. Instead, he leant over the table, hands carrying his weight and- wow, his eyes were pretty. Johnny wondered how he hadn't noticed the rich, shining colour before. “Doyoung is  _ my _ roommate.” 

It was back to being confused for Johnny.

“You didn't know?” Jaehyun asked, settling back into his chair. Johnny almost missed the proximity. (Jaehyun smelt of roses; Johnny made a mental note to buy him some one day.)

But the warmth in his chest could wait for later. Johnny just hoped it wasn't heartburn. For now, he replied. “No? I didn't even know Doyoung had a roommate.”

“I didn't know Ten had a roommate.” Jaehyun nodded his head sagely - Johnny thought it was adorable. Still, he was genuinely intrigued by their discovery.

“The fuck… do you think they knew?”

“That we know each other?” Johnny nodded. “Well, I tell Doyoung everything, and Doyoung tells Ten everything. So it would make sense.”

“Same here.” Johnny sipped on his drink. “So what do we do?”

Like a puppy, Jaehyun cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Like, do we prank them?” It took a few seconds for Johnny to spit the words out, occupied with the way Jaehyun’s eyes  _ sparkled  _ like some sort of gem, bathing in the natural light that streamed through the windows at the front of the store.

“And how would we do that?” Jaehyun’s laugh was a drug; Johnny was addicted. He wanted more and more, and luckily for him, he was skilled in the art of making people laugh.

“Uh, I don't know. That’s Ten’s speciality.”

Another giggle - another win for Johnny. “Same for Doyoung. I haven't met Ten too many times because our apartment is - apparently - too small, but I know how much of a pain both of them are together.”

“A pain? Try an absolute devil couple. They're the worst!”

The day faded away slowly, the sun returning to below the horizon as the cafe emptied out; all except for two men, face-to-face, knees knocking under the table, and laughs lighting up a sleeping sky.

 

Johnny didn't expect to feel heartbreak so soon. Not from Jaehyun ( _ phew _ ), but from Ten - that  _ demon _ , that absolute  _ monster _ of a human had done the unthinkable while he was away. 

His jorts. 

They were gone. All of them - gone without a trace. 

Johnny was furious. 

The sixth reason to hate Chittaphon: he was a meddling jackass.

He stormed to Ten’s room on the other side of their apartment, his footsteps so loud he wouldn't be surprised if they got their third complaint of that week. The door whistled as it was forced open, but instead of seeing Ten’s smug face waiting for him, he was greeted with possibly the cutest thing he had ever witnessed. 

He almost cooed, all anger dissipated and replaced with a sugar-doused and love-signed package straight to Johnny’s heart. For there, lay Ten and Doyoung, wrapped up in each other as Ten’s head rested on his boyfriend’s chest. Their eyes were both closed, but Doyoung’s hand ran a subconscious route through Ten’s hair. It was a scene of such intimacy and love, Johnny found himself closing the door as quietly as he could and walking away like a proud dad. 

He smiled to himself as he changed into joggers; as he left a note on Ten’s door, stating there was food ready to be reheated in the microwave; as he climbed into bed and began to drift off.

His phone pinged with a notification before he could fall entirely under the blanket of sleep. He grunted as he reached to check it, but his mood didn't stay low for long.

 

CONTACT: jeff(rey)

11:34

today was super fun

11:34

you wanna,, do it again?

 

“What kind of question-” Johnny cut himself off with a smile as he tapped out his reply.

 

11:35

definitely

 

 

 

The seventh reason to hate Ten? He was embarrassing. Not just in public - no, he was embarrassing like a  _ dad _ . 

It had started off fine. Great, even. Their reservation got cancelled, so Johnny invited Jaehyun over to his apartment, once again. 

Ten and Doyoung had been going out a lot recently, so he assumed Ten wouldn't be home - his first mistake. Ten was very much  _ home _ , meaning he was sprawled over the sofa, shirtless, and scrolling through his phone as some Disney Channel original movie played on the TV.

“Hey Johnny, fancy seeing you here.” He greeted, not looking up from his screen. When Johnny offered nothing but a civilised “hi” in return, he sat up, eyebrows furrowed, and- oh  _ no _ , Johnny did not like the look on Ten’s face when he locked onto Jaehyun. “Why, what do we have here?” he winked at Jaehyun as if he’d understand such a vague action.

Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Hi, Ten.”

Ten’s expression fell minusculely. “Shit, Jae, you were supposed to pretend you didn't know me. Didn't Dongs tell you?”

“No?”

“What? Why, that little shit, we had a plan-” Ten shot up, pulling out his phone and tapping on the screen as he disappeared into his room. From the sounds of poorly hushed yelling, Johnny concluded Doyoung and Ten had resorted to sending each other passive-aggressive voice messages. Again. Everyone knew where that was bound to lead.

Jaehyun and Johnny shared a knowing look before settling onto the sofa. The TV still played the movie Ten was (not) watching, but the remote had been tossed on the floor and neither of them could bother to peel themselves away from where they had come to lean against each other, so they let it play. Johnny did, however, yell at their Alexa to turn up the volume, just in case the obnoxious voices of twenty-odd-year-olds imitating teenagers wasn't quite loud enough to drown out whatever was about to go down behind Ten’s closed door.

Between them, it was fairly quiet, minus Johnny’s quiet exclamation of “holy shit, is that Hayley Kiyoko?” and Jaehyun’s outraged response, followed by a not-so-brief rundown of Lesbian Jesus’ entire career. Johnny didn't pay an awful lot of attention, finding himself easily amused by Jaehyun’s rapidly changing expression and wild hand motions, even in the many times he had to dodge the flailing appendages. 

Jaehyun had just finished his spiel, resting his head on Johnny’s shoulder and making his heart race so hard, Johnny thought it might run away, when Ten emerged, looking suspiciously refreshed but, thankfully, fully clothed in an obnoxious yellow hoodie. It was when he spied the two of them and grinned that awful, awful grin that Johnny knew exactly what was about to happen. The same thing had happened with the few other girls, guys, and nonbinary people he had brought into his home, and that hadn't been bad. But this was  _ Jaehyun _ and Jaehyun was special. Ten knew that, and therefore had to make an even bigger fool out of Johnny just to make up for it.

Ten made himself comfortable on the recliner adjacent to the sofa, kicking his feet up as he prepared to reveal Johnny’s deepest, darkest secret.

“Jae, did Johnny ever tell you about the time he ran into Harry Styles in the supermarket and screamed so loud he almost got arrested?”

There it was. One hit KO.

Johnny dropped his head in his hands, too ashamed to even look at Jaehyun, but he could feel the stare that fell on him.

“Johnny is that…” Slowly, Johnny nodded. It was only when Jaehyun let out the loudest guffaw he had ever heard that Johnny lifted his head to see him laughing so hard, he was literally rolling on the laminate floor. That was, until he bumped his head on the coffee table and sat up clutching the spot. He pouted as Johnny pulled him back onto the sofa, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, on the injury. They didn't move until Ten fake retched. He just giggled at the half-hearted glare Johnny sent his way and reached to prod his arm, earning a smile before they settled back into the same relaxed atmosphere as before Ten’s presence. 

Johnny purposely put himself between Ten and Jaehyun to stop any more humiliating stories being shared - not that it did much when Ten had no concern for their neighbours and began to yell across to Jaehyun before Johnny interrupted him, in his panicked state. (Their landlord had made his warning clear - No more disruptions, or no more apartment. Johnny didn't have the funds for that.)

“Ten, what were you and Doyoung planning?”

Ten threw his head back, groaning. “We were gonna try ‘n trick you, but Doyoung’s a jackass. Why do you think we went out so much? We were plotting.”

The eighth reason to hate Ten: “you were going to enlist your boyfriend just to antagonise us?”

Ten made no effort to refute the claims, just shrugged and sunk into his seat with an expression Johnny could never forget; that shit-eating grin that had Johnny leaping to his feet, just to pull the pillow from behind Ten and stick his tongue out as he backed away. 

Jaehyun’s yell barely registered. The last thing he saw was a flash of yellow as he was body slammed by a five-foot-seven body of fury.

Continuing from the eighth reason, Ten and Doyoung were persistent as hell. Two years into Johnny and Jaehyun’s relationship, they had, after months of searching, found a reasonably priced apartment for the two of them. All paperwork had been dealt with, so it was just a matter of actually  _ moving _ . And that, of course, required more than two pairs of hands.

Why they thought it would be a good idea to enlist the help of their demonic best friends was beyond Johnny, and he was almost immediately left with a crushing regret as Ten walked into what would be their bedroom and said, as loud as he could, “what a great place to have some mind-blowing, juicy, passionate-” 

Johnny slapped a hand over his mouth before he could continue and scare away the moving team as they manoeuvred what was to be his and Jaehyun’s bed into the room. He plastered on the fakest smile he could muster and, as soon as they had left, clipped Ten around the ear.

But of course, it didn't end there.

No, because Doyoung was there too, and Doyoung was arguably worse than Ten in that he was straightforward, to the point with no prisoners taken. He did nothing to hide his look of distaste as he sat cross-legged on the floor, rummaging through the boxes filled with Johnny and Jaehyun’s book collection, pulling out a copy of  _ Harry Potter  _ and squinting at the faded cover. When he opened the front page, he jumped to his feet. 

“What the fuck, Suh. You  _ dog-ear  _ your pages? Are you a psychopath?”

Doyoung was sharp, but Johnny had the Jaehyun Advantage. “Jaehyunnie, Doyoung’s being mean again.”

“Doie, be nice.” Jaehyun was halfway inside a very large box of kitchen supplies, but of course, he still managed to offer his support.

“You're such a tattletale!” Doyoung hissed, snapping the book closed.

Ten came up behind him, using Doyoung’s head as a very low armrest as he remained standing. He looked like an idiot, hunched over like a witch with back issues, but spoke as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “You get used to it.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”

“Love you too!”

 

 

 

Johnny was panicking. 

He was in the bathroom of a very fancy restaurant where the love of his life was waiting at their table, panicking because he  _ forgot the ring _ . How was he supposed to propose without a ring? He  _ couldn't _ . And- yeah, he could do it another day, but today was  _ perfect _ . The weather was exactly the way Jaehyun liked it - sunny, with just a touch of cloud cover so the night didn't turn too cold, they were at Jaehyun’s favourite pretentious restaurant, (“we’re all slaves to capitalism in some way,” he had said, pouring a glass of wine that probably cost more than Jaehyun’s car. “This is a guilty pleasure of mine.”) and it was Valentines Day, for god’s sake. He had never said it outright, but Johnny knew from Ten who knew from Doyoung who knew from Jaehyun’s mother that Jaehyun had had a dream as a child to become engaged on his birthday. 

There was always next year, but Johnny didn't want to waste a second of the time they spent together. You never knew what the future was to hold.

So to recap, Johnny was panicking. He considered calling Ten, but his phone was dead after he forgot to charge it in his excitement.

Maybe Jaehyun wouldn't mind. It was just a childhood fantasy, after all. Did that make Johnny a bad partner? Not trying to fulfil his love’s wishes? Did that mean-

Johnny’s monologuing was interrupted with a knock on the toilet door and a voice that sounded suspiciously familiar. “Get out here, loser. You have a boyfriend to propose to.”

Johnny almost laughed. “I forgot the ring. I-” 

“So, as I said,  _ get out here _ . Don't be a pussy.” Hesitantly, Johnny unlocked the door, pushing it open. Ten was there, looking entirely out of place in Doyoung’s green knitted jumper, compared to the ironed and tailored suit Johnny wore. He pulled Johnny from his crouching position, muttering how unsanitary it was. Johnny, at a loss for words, said the only thing that came to mind.

“All women are queens.” 

The way Ten scrambled to find his words was almost comical, but Johnny was far more interested in the sliver of silver that peaked out through his fingers.

“Is that the ring?” His voice raised several octaves, so thrilled that Ten had saved him from his untimely doom-

“Uh, not quite.” Ten pushed the object into Johnny’s hand. “Close though!” 

It was not close at all. As far as Johnny could tell, it was made out of the metal that covered the cork of a wine bottle. He looked at Ten incredulously. 

Ten sighed, running a hand through his recently bleached hair. It was surprisingly undamaged to the eye, but that was probably just due to the dim hallway lighting. “It was the only thing I could think of, okay? It’s better than nothing.”

“Where did you even find this?”

“I might have had a little conversation with Jaehyun and snatched it off the table.”

Johnny’s eyes widened. Ten had gatecrashed his date. Ten had  _ datecrashed  _ him. “You-”

“Look, this isn't about me! This is about you and Jaehyun so  _ go _ .” Ten shoved him towards the door with as much strength as he could, but quickly pulled him back so he was hunched over, only to lick his fingers and start adjusting Johnny’s hair. It was gross, and Johnny made that known, but Ten just flicked his forehead with a soft smile.

“Go get ‘em, John.” 

With those words of encouragement, Johnny spun around, flattened out his shirt, and pushed the door open.

 

Now, the ninth reason to hate Ten may have been that he was a gatecrashing bastard, but he sure was a resourceful gatecrashing bastard. 

The proposal went well, really well. Johnny’s face still itched from the tears that had escaped, and Jaehyun wasn't in any better state. They looked a mess, skin blotched with red as they trekked along the pathway hand-in-hand, smiling so hard it might have well have been permanently carved, like an age-old statue. Timeless. 

Johnny had spied Ten, teary-eyed in the corner of the room, and had made a move to go to him, but Ten was faster. He gave Johnny the finger and a watery smile before bolting out the doors, leaving nothing but empty space in his wake. Johnny hated seeing his figure retreat into the darkness. He knew Ten would have his head if he tried to chase after him, but his heart still lurched at the sight. A hand clasped around his own. Jaehyun’s grip was tight, reassuring, and Johnny most definitely enjoyed the sensation of cool metal pressing into his skin, even if it was only temporary. Ten wanted him to enjoy this night, and there was no way Johnny was about to fail him.

So when Johnny and Jaehyun stumbled into Ten and Doyoung’s apartment, drunk out of their right minds, Ten was more than pleased. He cooed when Johnny fell against him, tucking his head impossibly under Ten’s chin while Jaehyun called out blindly for Doyoung, who emerged from the shower, still dripping wet and dressed only in a towel, only to be tackled to the floor. His screams of “Yoonoh, my  _ towel _ ” fell onto deaf ears. 

The couple somehow dragged Johnny and Jaehyun into their spare bedroom, despite both of them falling into an alcohol-induced coma and having absolutely no control over their combined twelve feet of height. As soon as they were dumped on the bed, no matter how unceremoniously, the two of them gravitated together, legs tangling and breaths mingling. 

Doyoung made a face. “Do we do that?”

“I fucking hope not.” Ten rested his head on Doyoung’s shoulder, linking their hands together. “Disgusting.”

 

 

 

“Johnny Suh has been my best friend of many, many years.” 

Johnny’s murmur of “unfortunately” sent ripples of laughter through the crowd, but Ten didn't look phased. He stood tall behind the podium, cue cards long forgotten as he continued with his best man’s speech.

“Hence, I know a lot about him. Maybe too much. So, I have put together, this.” The projector screen rolled down, the title page flickering to life, and Johnny groaned. He didn't even know the venue had a projector. What kind of church had a projector? “The Complete Guide to Johnny Suh, by Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. John, you're welcome in advance.”

The powerpoint wasn't long, but it went into enough detail that Johnny 1) decided Ten was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, and 2) couldn't stop smiling. Once the final slide came about, Ten returned to his place at the podium. He searched for Johnny’s gaze, nodding when he caught it. Johnny leant back in his chair, fiddling with the cool metal that felt so foreign and yet so  _ right _ sitting on his ring finger. Ten was serious - Johnny just hoped he didn't ruin his makeup or Ten would murder him.

Ten cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “But, all jokes aside, I’m happy for you. That after all these years, all the impromptu dorm visits, all the times you came crying to me about a broken heart; you’ve finally found your forever. You spent so long moving from place to place, floating as if you didn't belong. I can only hope that, with Jaehyun, you’ve found a home. 

“I might pick on you- hell, I drive you crazy, even. But I love you, Youngho. You’re my best friend, ‘till we’re old and grey-haired and racing each other on our wheelchairs. Until we’re bedridden and can't move, but still, manage to annoy each other because that’s what we do best.

“Your happiness is my happiness, Johnny. Never forget that. 

“And Jaehyun - make sure he picks up his socks, yeah?”

The tenth reason to hate Chittaphon was simple: he was a good goddamn friend.

**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/ritokki)   
>  [my curiouscat!](https://curiouscat.me/ritokki)


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